Max was up in time to see some of the Royal Wedding ceremony with Mommy. When told that the bride was marrying a prince and becoming a princess, he paused a moment and then said, "No way Mommy. You're foolin' me. The is ABC not the Disney Channel."

It was a rough day for Benny. First of all, his Mommy was sick and second of all he did not nap. Upon being told that Max was playing Leapster and he would have to wait his turn, Ben offered this jewel up.
"I'm outta here."
Ben proceeded to lock himself in a dark bathroom, sitting on a stool.
I then offered him the secret to get in Mommy's good graces -- one kiss and 'I love you' did the trick. Ben then looked pitiful enough to get some computer time from Mommy.

Max is a member of the Friendly Sliders this spring, his first venture into the world of T-Ball. His 2nd game did not quite go as planned last week. The Sliders were in the field first against the Monsters and Max played shortstop because he is that good. After one batter, Max had enough. He walked off the field and went to his team's bench. When asked what he was doing by his loving father, Max responded, "I am getting my helmet." I ever so gently explained to Max that his team was on the field. At this point, Max turned his back to me. Eventually, he did return to the field with some urging from his coaches. In the second inning, Max decided he wanted to play third base. Instead of fielding the first ball of the inning, Max raced home, touched home plate and yelled, "I scored." His coach explained to him when the bases are loaded, he could tag home plate, but just running home wasn't the ideal course of action. Again the ball was hit, he raced home and tagged home plate. The only problem was he didn't have the ball. When I attempted to talk to him again, Max told me to go back to my seat. I wonder if this is how Chase Utley started out ...

"Knock-knock jokes have been on my mind. For some reason, they come to me while traveling in the car. My favorite is 'Knock-knock, who's there? KGB. KGB who?' Then I can't help but laugh before I get the answer out. Something's been going on with my laughing. It gets in the way of the joke. The answer is supposed to be 'KGB asks the questions.' Now, that's much better, no laughing that time."

Max is a big fan of video games, be it XBox, Leapster or the computer. Upon leaving for work today, he asked me if he could play XBox, I passed the buck to Mommy.
“But she always says no. She never lets us do anything. She’s going to say it’s a video-free day and that’s not good.”

Max and Ben have the best Aunt in the world, known to Gretchen as some and Auntie as others. Although they know it is bad for them, Auntie loves to feed the boys fast food on Monday nights. When grilled by Daddy on Tuesday mornings, they do not like to fess up.
Ben on what he had for dinner on Monday Night …

“I asked for a Kids Cuisine, but Auntie said she wanted to take me out for dinner. McDonald’s is a good place to go out to.”
According to Auntie when told they were going to McDonald's, Ben said," But, Dad will be mad." After second thought, Ben decided Dad 'wouldn't be that mad.'

If you are in need of a good laugh, this blog is for you. My sons Max (5) and Ben (3) can’t help themselves. They both have one-liners each day and I will try to keep you updated. Here are some of their highlights in their thoughts, their words …
Five-year old Max on birthdays ...
“Birthdays are on my mind a lot right now. I can’t wait until I’m 6, so I can get an XBox 360. My Dad told me Grandmom’s birthday was the next one and I wondered how old she was. When told she would be 67, that blew my mind. Does that mean she’s had 66 birthdays? Just imagine having 66 birthday parties, that would be amazing. I can’t even understand having that many birthdays, but at least she’s not 100 yet.”
Max on reincarnation ...
“When I’m 100, I’m going to die. Then I’m going to be little again and I can go back to the teeny tennis center.”
Max agreeing with his Dad that Ben can aim higher than a construction worker ...
“Dad’s right. Being a construction worker is not a good job, because look at this crap (pointing to the traffic).”
Ben being asked in preschool why he celebrates Hanukkah ...
“Because I’m a Jew.”
On Marriage ...
“You don’t marry girls from the park. You swing there. You don’t marry your sister. I don’t know who I’m going to marry yet.”
On why he didn’t like the movie Rango ...
“The problem was you wouldn’t let me sit back in my seat, Dad.”